The Loss of Ajabu

July 2013 watercolour - Ajabu

Glancing at the phone first thing this morning, all I saw was the number 22, as in today’s date. I had an instant thought of uh oh… death. I can’t explain it, and I know it’s not positive or uplifting for a first thought, but it was a split second intuitive feeling. I also know the number 22 to be a great spiritual master number, besides what the 2’s have also come to represent in my experience… the possible passing on of someone you know.

Trying to wake my brain up, I thought I’d check my email. The very first message was horrible news. Indeed someone passed on. It was our sweet baby elephant that we foster named AJABU. She was being cared for at The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust which “is today the most successful orphan-elephant rescue and rehabilitation program in the world and one of the pioneering conservation organizations for wildlife and habitat protection in East Africa.” ~The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust

Now I was awake and sad to start the day with  such bad news. I stumbled into the walk-in closet (which was dark) only to be startled by my husband using his cell phone as a flashlight to find something to wear. He is very sweet not to want to wake me up by turning on the actual light, but what a scare!  We both started laughing… and then I started sobbing. He didn’t know what to think. I could barely blurt out the sentence…. “Our elephant died.”

Learn what happened to Ajabu here

Trying to make sense of the grief, I was thinking… is my sorrow really about my relationship to the elephant herself? After all, I’ve never met the little one. Or is it about me? My loss?

I am pretty sure it’s about the hope which I had for her. The prayers that I prayed for her. And yes, it is about me and my goals surrounding the day I fostered this sweet soul. I wish to do more good in this world and she was a part of my bigger plan. I guess you can’t help but feel a million ways. I remember how excited I was the day we fostered Ajabu and how my 5 year old at the time excitedly painted me a beautiful elephant picture. I’m emotional that this brief fostering experience had such a sad ending. I dreamed of visiting a healthy Ajabu in Kenya one day. After all, she seemed to be thriving.

My grief may have to do with all of those things above, but one thing I know for certain is that I am grieving for humanity and how cruel humans are acting out of greed, and that this baby elephant even needed to be rescued by an orphanage to begin with. Elephants are being poached at the rate of One every 15 minutes with a prediction of extinction by the year 2025! Elephants hold the most light on our planet along with dolphins according to spiritual teachers. Could that be why this is hitting me so hard?  The fact that elephants are so intelligent, have such close bonds with their families and stay with their young into their teen years and beyond is amazing. They are also known to grieve as deep or deeper than humans… that is incredible to me. Imagining the heartbreak of Ajabu’s surrogate mum named Sonje who loved Ajabu and the heartbreak of the keepers who were so close with her brings tears to my eyes. Although, I Imagine what an honor it must be to be a keeper at the elephant orphanage and to work closely with these magnificent Elephants. The keepers are heroes every day!

Right now, more light than ever before is entering the planet shining the spotlight on darkness and bringing it to our attention. These are things that we need to fix and address such as poaching of our wild elephants and rhinos for their ivory. It’s pathetic and all for what? A carved trinket! I feel so deeply about our wildlife right now and what they go through at the hands of lost human souls. I feel that sensitive souls like myself are being put through hell at the moment with animal exploitation stories at every turn. But I am strong. I am able to look at what most people would look away from. I am willing to make changes where they are needed, such as going vegan. I am willing to be a voice for the voiceless, and support where I can. I am also willing to be a role model for others. But being strong doesn’t mean it doesn’t get to me… indeed it does. I think this path I’m on is meant to build my character and it is not easy!  I would never judge sensitive souls as being weak or inferior. Far from.

We also ALL have something else to contend with, and that is all the energy swirling around as of late, helping us to release and rebuild for the new world. It’s a bit much. I’m not going to pretend that it’s not, and it’s affecting all of us in crazy ways. I now see that my lesson is to get through discouragement. I have had to take breaks from blogging and posting when I feel discouraged and then I pick myself back up and move forward again. I would love to work through this once and for all, so that I am only moving forward. Here is a great post I read today on Spirit Library  (I love Spirit Library, btw) by Sarah Varcas, that explains a lot about the recent energy and why the ups and downs are happening right now. We will all get through this and be better for it. I am keeping this hope.

As for today, I will be thinking of little Ajabu and keeping positive thoughts. I am praying that her soul is with her mother in heaven, although they don’t really know the fate of her mother, with poaching as it is, chances are they will be reuniting. My thoughts wander toward thinking this is the best place for her. Earth is a tough place for animals right now.  So I am a bit relieved. Our foster-ship will transfer over to Sonje and I’m more than happy to keep helping these elephants. If  youRemembering Ajabu

would like to do more, please visit iworry to find out about the October 4th walk for elephants and to sign the petition.

Here is a SUPER cute video of our baby Ajabu –  May she rest in peace

Read more on the Orphans project with The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust

Do you feel the intense energy lately? What is your recent spiritual learning experience as an animal lover/vegan?

May you be filled with hope along your journey,

~The Karmatarian

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